Q. What are my struggles?
A. Life

Waking up in the morning not knowing what to do with my life.
thought bubble: I just don't want to wake up
Life is like a fishing rod. Someone gave me one, but with no instructions or purpose manual attached. Wata life. Wata fishing rod.

You know those people who say live life to the fullest or live today as if it was the last? I need some of that. Everything feels a bit monotone, a bit repetitive. Nothing excites me any more. Sad when I think about it. And the weather is so nice outside. I think I should go see a counselor. I tried to be satisfied with where I am at in life right now, even if it's not the ideal place to be, but what is ideal anyway? I see colors, but they are not as vibrant. Monochromatic. I am being dramatic. Not even drama is exciting.

I guess life does not have to be exciting all the time. Haven't been to the gym in a while. Really struggled today at the gym. Could not take on as much weight as before. It feels like it's never enough. All the efforts that you put in something can be lost in an instant. Perseverance? Consistency? But more often than not, I just want to move on from things and places. Staying in one place is too stale.
But what are the blind spots in my thinking? I feel there is something insidious, something creepy that prevents me from thinking properly or to look at things in a healthy way. To be healthy is ideal. Let's strive for health then. Let us be the healthiest person. Sometimes, talking in first person plural gives you that extra man power, will power, motivation.
We are all right.
I wish I was a sun god. Someone who can provide warmth to people. Shining. Bright. Warmth. What a nice feeling. It's even nicer when contrasted with the freezing Arctic cold. Living life in contrasts. Going for the extremes in order to feel. Feel. Life.

Here's a nice song that will go well with the rest of the reading:


Music. It is also like warmth. It takes you to places, places that you cannot go at your current self. It makes you employ your imagination. Think about the things that will never be, that can never be. As long as I dream, I will feel alive. To be one more day. To dare one more time. Music.

We are champions. Champions of our lives. Victory. A Romantic feeling. Standing at the peak of the mountain. The sun in front of you. Warmth. Embrace the sun. 抱一下. 안아줘. Because you are mine. The sun is mine. To be one with the sun. The sun does not need to know its purpose. It just is. It just unconditionally gives warmth without knowing, without understanding. How lovely. That feeling. Just be the sun. Be yourself. Beyoutiful.

How to get one's shit together? Defecate. And then eat again. The cycle of life.