Disclaimer. This post could inflate your ego like a hot air balloon in the sky.

Have you guys ever felt powerless to make a change?

I mean what can I possibly do to help anyone, let alone myself? I know what I am good at though: running away. The fear of commitment is really tangible.

Here are some recurrent thoughts:

"I suck. I can't commit to anything. I tried to persevere but failed miserably. I just can't try anymore because I know I will fail again. Why set myself for failures right? Plus, people could blame me when I try and fail, but nobody can blame me for not trying."

As much as it is fear, there's also some stubbornness and a lot of pessimism. Selfish reasons also apply. You know, when you just don't want to do anything. When you just want to feel comfortable, lying around, not thinking about anything, having a blank mind.

"Why can't people just leave me alone?", I'd tell myself.

But the real question should be this, "Why do I want to be left alone? What is it that I am running away again from this time?".

Even though life might seem overwhelming at times, even though society might keep asking me to prove my qualifications and my worth, even though there is always an endless list of things that I need to do to further myself, even though I feel like I am never able to achieve the things I want in life, even though my heart aches when I face people's suffering but my lack of empathy proves otherwise, even though ... if I don't try, my fear will remain the only reality that I experience, the only thing that I know about life. How sad is that? I know that you all know deep down that life can offer us so much more. We certainly do not have to wait around and act only when all six planets of our solar system come into alignment or when we receive a call from the universe. It all starts now. Our mission on this earth is like a game, like a live hockey game or football game. It's like a treasure hunt or scavenger hunt or Pokemon hunt. It enfolds over time and enriches your existence. You get to explore. You get to see things. And most importantly you get to choose, to influence and to mark this world that you were placed in. Trials do come. Mission impossible is a thing. Pokemons do die (but can be revived, no worry you faint hearted). Looking forward is never easy. The future is full of uncertainty. The "what if" questions are simply how our mind copes with the unknown. But don't you ever wish that someone would just affirm that you can, that you are able, that you are full of potential and fully amazing? For someone to believe in you, to give you a hand when you are down, to roam with you in your darkest hours? I want someone like that in my life and I now know that He is right here with me. He has always been right here with me. It comforts me to know that I can be weak, that I can break down in front of Him, that my tears can just pour down profusely like a teapot without fearing being judged by other teapots, that I can tell Him all about how much I think I suck and how much I just can't keep going on anymore. Being understood, the best gift someone can ever bestow upon you. When you get to connect with someone on a deeper level, when there is a mutual understanding and mutual respect. It is spiritual. It is transcendental. I wish I can be that person for someone someday. To counsel and to guide. To be the lone star ranger in the far lands. Trek. Walk. Go.

Go for it. Go after your dream. It's not too far from your grasp, your reach. Never lose sight of it. You can and you certainly are able. You are meant to be, born to be, that person that you want to be.

"You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are Special."