Sometimes, it is not enough to be loved just the way we are.

That infant desire, strife. To be changed • improving • grow. The current state, not satisfying. And disgust, self-inflicted. Surely, there must be something else beside all these. But what am I missing?

It's hard to transit, unstable. Though I am becoming more self-sufficient, loneing I learnt too. Socialization who? What friends? I just want to be by myself, minding my own business. I mean there are so many things to engage in and those needs, still not mastered. Real, this fear of missing out. Unbound, out of this realm, overwhelm.

It's not enough. Am never good enough. Lackey, lacking.
Be.advised
Be.perfect.com
Be.4.appearance.live
Then a stroll down the valley, peeking here & there. Why is grass greener everywhere except my turf. And I keep observing, comparing. Oh look, that person seems happy. I guess I am happy for them, if only they weren't better looking and more competent too. Man this ratchetness is too much, and I come in like a wrecking ship, balling.

Finally a retreat, to my cave of solitude, among the sparkling sorrows and greased up pity. Shine bright, Simon says. Sure.

On the Voice tonight, I am being coached, chosen. Déjà vu, voir.

"Be content with what you have."

"You are still young."

"Don't change. You are okay the way you are, really."

"There are people who actually care about you, you know."

Is that water dripping I hear? Moisture in the air? Lips parched, I taste. And stand once more, I, in the scorch, with shooting gaze & weak calves.

And that moment. When all my fears, shattered. My being, restored. Status: loved. I but a bird learning to fly, again.

"You mean I am good enough, significant? That today has meanings and tomorrow full of possibilities? Tell me, why you love me so, when I so undeserving. Will you now bear my shame, because this mind is depleting. And grant me excitement to look forward to, because life, bored, staling. Your strength, be overflowed, to overcome, to keep straight. At night, when wild dwarfs attack and anxiety bursts, catch me fore I fall."

That's all. Yours.