Pillow Talk
1:53 AM
My pastor used to tell us that faith is synonym of trust.
And trust, let me tell you my friend, is a high risk high reward business. Isn't it difficult to risk in life? It is even more difficult when you took a risk once upon a time and then the outcome turned out disastrous. Recently, a lady shared with me the story of herself getting betrayed by one of her best gals. And you can imagine the aftermath. That lady can no longer trust anyone anymore. I mean what do you even say to that when you hear these kinds of story? Can people ever get over their traumatized feelings? Do trusting issues ever get resolved? Sadly, one of the things people usually realize when they grow up is that others are not to be fully trusted. One of my friends used to tell me, back when I was in CEGEP, how innocent I was, but I think she really meant how lucky I was to never have been hurt by people. In a sense, it was true. When you don't try to go deeper in relationship with people, there is no way you would get hurt by them in return, or disappointed even. I definitely didn't have anyone I considered close enough with whom I could share my intimate thoughts. Plus, I was pretty self-centered/absorbed (still am) and in those past days, not a single crap was given to anyone. Moreover, there was this culture among my friends circle back then that did not promote vulnerability. The norm was you pretended that nothing ever bothers you while trying your best to look happy all the time. Ain't nobody have time to listen to your junk. #teenagelife101
It makes sense. Asking a cynical person to trust again is like asking a person who lost everything in a business venture to risk again by investing in a new one. Not many people would do it encore after the initial failures, but then surprisingly, some would. Why is that? On top of my head, I can think of several reasons. Maybe they haven't learnt their lesson? Perhaps some peeps are really just adrenaline junkies seeking out the high risk adventures? Or maybe some of them genuinely have the hope that the second time will be different and somehow they will hit the jackpot? Whatever the reason is, I think there is a limit to how many failed attempts you can cope with before you completely give up and thereafter perceive the world before you as a hopeless case. I mean how can one risk when there is absolutely no perceived hope of a positive outcome right? Would anyone invest in a bankrupt zero-future company for that matter?
And trust, let me tell you my friend, is a high risk high reward business. Isn't it difficult to risk in life? It is even more difficult when you took a risk once upon a time and then the outcome turned out disastrous. Recently, a lady shared with me the story of herself getting betrayed by one of her best gals. And you can imagine the aftermath. That lady can no longer trust anyone anymore. I mean what do you even say to that when you hear these kinds of story? Can people ever get over their traumatized feelings? Do trusting issues ever get resolved? Sadly, one of the things people usually realize when they grow up is that others are not to be fully trusted. One of my friends used to tell me, back when I was in CEGEP, how innocent I was, but I think she really meant how lucky I was to never have been hurt by people. In a sense, it was true. When you don't try to go deeper in relationship with people, there is no way you would get hurt by them in return, or disappointed even. I definitely didn't have anyone I considered close enough with whom I could share my intimate thoughts. Plus, I was pretty self-centered/absorbed (still am) and in those past days, not a single crap was given to anyone. Moreover, there was this culture among my friends circle back then that did not promote vulnerability. The norm was you pretended that nothing ever bothers you while trying your best to look happy all the time. Ain't nobody have time to listen to your junk. #teenagelife101
It wasn't long though, before I eventually got invited to the cynical circles. Ironically, the people who have hurt and disappointed me the most were all Christians. It does make sense in a way because there is something in these Christian frats that make you really invested in and entangled with each others. And the first law of humandynamics dictates that relational investment is directly proportional to hurts and disappointments. So trust me when I say I get it*.
It makes sense. Asking a cynical person to trust again is like asking a person who lost everything in a business venture to risk again by investing in a new one. Not many people would do it encore after the initial failures, but then surprisingly, some would. Why is that? On top of my head, I can think of several reasons. Maybe they haven't learnt their lesson? Perhaps some peeps are really just adrenaline junkies seeking out the high risk adventures? Or maybe some of them genuinely have the hope that the second time will be different and somehow they will hit the jackpot? Whatever the reason is, I think there is a limit to how many failed attempts you can cope with before you completely give up and thereafter perceive the world before you as a hopeless case. I mean how can one risk when there is absolutely no perceived hope of a positive outcome right? Would anyone invest in a bankrupt zero-future company for that matter?
I guess we can conclude that if you ever want to risk in life again, you need to have at least some hope. So the question of the day is where does your hope come from? And if you don't have any hope right now, where can you garner such drive/force/power?
#sourceofhope
*It = reason why people do not want to open up again and to trust others.
*It = reason why people do not want to open up again and to trust others.
Photography by M. Klasan.
