I am officially 25.

I remember a moment in time when I looked up to people who were 25 and now I am one of them. Damn.

Guess I can't act like a little kid anymore. Hopefully, nobody looks up to me yet, so I can prep myself a bit mentally before presenting myself to the world as a less-so-in-denial adult.

You know, age has always been a sensitive topic in the Asian culture, or for me at least. Whenever I meet an older Asian guy = automatic feelings of reverence. One of those things you can't really shake off being an Asian. A Swift diss.

Recently, I talked to one of the guys at my boxing gym. Thought he was pretty cool. And then I discovered he was 16!? He certainly didn't look like one. Like what the youth, didn't know they still make those, teenagers that is. And then he requested my age. I felt self-conscious right dere.

"What is he going to think? Me the old fart."

I know I know. I am not that old. But age-consciousness is a thing, I am sure you have all (or will) experienced it at one point or another. When you are exposed to the brilliance and sheen of young skin, you can't help but to feel a bit more decrepit, a bit more on the edge of death's door. #dramataken But we should be glad that we are still somewhat relevant in our twenties. Now imagine in our 60s. Two words: OUTdated/moded/of.fashion, UNcool/trendy/stylish. Okay I know I know, it depends of the oldie, but you get the point. Really though, when was the last time you talked to someone in the 60-70 bracket? It's definitely not a secret that em old folks have an immensely hard time to find a niche within our society. They are like rare pokemons, whom you can only spot in certain locations. Em either holding a stop sign on the street, playing bingo in retirement homes or waiting on their death beds for their daily jello. Those are the images that come to mind at least. I mean there is a reason why a lot of them fall into depression or even opt for suicide. True story. I've been reading a book entitled "What Men Don't Talk About", which describes the different struggles that men experience in our various developmental stages. And it gave me much insight in what aging could look like, as discussed in the book through real peeps' testimonies. Without a doubt, it can look ugly, physically, circumstantially, emotionally, you name it, you cringe it. Imagine what it would feel like to be retired at 60: your kids with families of their own that you are not really part of, your spouse who unfortunately passed away and all your friends around you collapsing one after another.
And I thought I was the only one feeling purposeless & isolated at times.

Anyway, all that to say [age +1] is not an easy process. Hope we can all be like those who age well. #downeyclooney

I have more to say, but I am out of ideas. #gettingold